The Verbal Hunger Games

   My friend Rebecca came over today, and as usual, we had a deep conversation about many things. Like most of our discussions, we turned to something we both love. This time, it happened to be the Young Adult novel, The Hunger Games. This is one of my favorite series ever, as it is both interesting and thought provoking. As we both discussed different themes that came up over the book, Rebecca made an extremely profound comment. "You know, we're in our own Hunger Games now." I looked at her puzzled, confused by this comment, wondering how we could be doing such a thing. "Although we don't actually kill people,"  she continued,  "we kill people with our words, fighting to be the last one standing."

   This idea made me think about the past eight to ten years, where words had their biggest effect. I remember being bashed for being smart, made fun of for not looking like others, and called a 'nerd' and 'loser' for the longest time. Those bullies were fighting for their social life, to put themselves as the victor, much like all of the tributes. But the analogy doesn't just stop there, in one person's life. Our Hunger Games extends out into the realm of the social sphere, into Hollywood, and into the world.

   How often do we turn on the TV and see shows that point out the flaws in someone? Turn on Disney Channel, and several of the characters, even the main ones, are belittled. Switch over to any news station, and the reports are pretty much just the same; cut down the other side, point out their flaws.Why do we watch "The Bachelor(ette)," "Dance Moms," "Bridezillas," "E!," "Fashion Police," "The Biggest Loser," and countless others? Because as a society, we strive to cut down the other guy, to make them feel as worthless as possible so that we can come out on top. The focus of shows like "Dance Moms" isn't to show the dedication of these moms' to their daughters' desires, no. It's to make money, to keep the masses satisfied by the verbal Hunger Games everyone participates in. Turn on Disney Channel, and several of the characters, even the main ones, are belittled. Switch over to any news station, and the reports are pretty much just the same; cut down the other side, point out their flaws. 

   Our world has transcended into a place where the only way to feel good is to cut someone down, where we are amused by the littlest flaw of anyone, where we are satisfied by the trivial. Many people don't care about Benghazi, about what's going on in the Senate. They are exactly like the masses of Panem, content to sit out their days on their couches, being spoon fed their verbal desires, making sure that they believe they remain the victor. 

   When will we rise up and take a stand against such subliminal tyranny? No, it isn't the tyrannical government, but the tyrannical populace. If you don't agree with the majority, you're an outcast, you're made fun of, you're destroyed. If you don't conform, you aren't worth a dime in the public mind. Yes, people who make a change in the world are often applauded, but how often? Every day? Every month? Every year? And how often afterwards are they cut down because of some past mistake or because they decided to wear something that wasn't 'right?' 

   When will this all stop? When will the citizens' become tired of such degrading treatment? Will it be when everyone looks and thinks and acts almost exactly alike or will it be when more people like Jennifer Lawrence, who played Katniss, take a stand against our verbal 'Capital?' Change will only come when we decide who we want to be: Revolutionaries or Tributes and citizens of Panem?

The Search for Faith

So here we go. My first 'official' blog post.

Let's just lay down some ground information. I'm not a blogger. I don't know how these work or what I'm supposed to do to make a great or even half decent post. But, I at least have to try, right? And if this all falls on my face and this entry becomes nothing but my ramblings, I can start over? Oh, wait, this is the Internet.

I guess the real reason I'm doing this blog is A) Because I've always wanted to; B) It should get the creative juices flowing; C) Because my religion professor suggested it; D) Because I want to document my progress throughout the remainder of my time here at BYU and possibly longer. A lot of the people in my ward blog and I always find them interesting and uplifting. But I'm not doing this for you guys. I'm doing it for me. And maybe later on, I'll do it for you guys too, if there are enough people to actually do that.

So, I'm back here at BYU after a too short two week break back in Texas. As I reflect on the later half of 2013, I think of the struggles I had. I came to BYU expecting life to be easy, as there were as many members here in Utah as there were nonmembers back home. But it turns out that I was quite wrong. I struggled with my testimony almost more than I had back home. Sure, I believed that the Book of Mormon was true and I believed that Heavenly Father knew me personally, but I didn't know. And when I sat in my religion class, listening to all the other students talking about these amazing insights, about how strong their own testimonies were, about how they had received such conformation of Gospel doctrine, I started to ask a lot of questions, the main one being "Do I have enough faith?"
Growing up in the Church, I had always assumed that I had faith. I paid my tithing, went to Church, fulfilled my callings, bore my testimony. I did the same things when I got up here, but something was different. I had started questioning my own faith, not because of what I felt, but because of how others' did. I started wondering if I was good enough for Heavenly Father, if I had enough trust in Him, if He was disappointed because I wasn't as strong in the faith as my other classmates. That way of thinking was so harmful to my spiritual development, nevertheless, it continued unchecked for quite a while.

How did I finally stop this downward self-criticizing spiral? I realized that the only person's spirituality that matters is MINE. Not my friends', not my roommates', not even my sister's, but mine. Just because I didn't know that every bit of Gospel doctrine was true didn't mean that I couldn't have faith and believe in it. In fact, Alma 32:21 perfectly acknowledges this fact. It reads "And now as I said concerning faith-- faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."

So I don't have to have a perfect knowledge; I just have to be willing to search and hope and try to understand and find my own conformation. Throughout the chapter, Alma continually repeats that faith is not a perfect knowledge, that children can have as much faith as adults without as much knowledge, that faith is a feeling of peace. Faith is something that the most undereducated to most literate man (and woman) can have. This is the beauty of the Gospel, as it is not confined to one class, race, or even level of intelligence. Faith is available to all who diligently seek after it.

As I continue my second semester at BYU (or 'Mormon school,' as my non-member friends like to call it), I'll work on keeping this in mind. No matter how many experiences my classmates have, the only ones that matter are my own.


And since I really don't know how to end a blog post, here it is. THE END